


In One Second

by K1313



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Injury Recovery, Major Character Injury, Permanent Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29120793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K1313/pseuds/K1313
Summary: Everything seemed like it might have settled down for the runaways until an accident leaves Nico with a serious injury. Suddenly Nico and Karolina have to figure out how to adjust to this new big part of their lives, with some big help from their friends.
Relationships: Karolina Dean/Nico Minoru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20
Collections: Fandom Trumps Hate 2020





	In One Second

Tucked away in the hills of California was a hidden mansion. Sitting inside were six teenagers who were realizing that all of the horrible evils they’d been dealing with had finally been taken care of.

“I want to go walk around,” Molly said to Gert, who was laying down next to, but not quite touching Chase.

Gert went to stand up and Molly gently nudged her back. “We’re finally not criminals anymore and everything’s calming down. I just want to go meet up with some of the girls from school.”

Gert glanced over at Chase who shrugged and turned back to her sister. “Fine. But call us if anything seems weird at all.”

Molly smiled back at her and pulled on her cat hat. “I’ll be fine. See you later!”

Karolina smiled as she watched Molly dash out the door. She was so much younger and happier than the rest of them, and she was glad that everything with Pride and Jonah and Morgan hadn’t ruined Molly’s personality.

She glanced back at Nico who was still asleep and sighed softly. She wished that she could give the rest of them the same ease and happiness. It seemed like it was always something. But that was over now, and maybe they could find their peace.

Everyone’s parents, those that were still alive, had begged them to come home with varying levels of dignity intact. But all the kids had agreed that there was no going back to any of it. They were stuck here with everything that had happened in their hearts.

Karolina wasn’t sure what that meant for any of them. But they’d all promised. One day of peace and quiet to rejoice in the fact that they were all here. Tomorrow they’d have Big Discussions and deal with the days after that.

Karolina headed down the stairs to walk around. She glanced briefly at Gert and Chase. They were just laying together and staring up at the ceiling. Occasionally they’d look at each other, but never at the same time. Karolina smiled and kept walking. Alex had closed his door when they got back. She considered knocking, seeing if he’d want to help her figure out food, but she didn’t want to bother him. Alex had spent the longest in the Dark Dimension and he’d lost his mother. Admittedly because of her own choices, but if they were honest their parents had all killed people. A reality that was very much not supposed to be part of today.

Heading back to their little kitchen Karolina realized that there wasn’t much to it and decided she should go pick up lunch. She headed out to get sandwiches and salads and by the time she’d made it back everyone was awake and grateful.

Nico came up to her to take food and kissed her before sitting down next to her, their legs bumping each other softly. Everyone ate in near silence which was broken when Molly came into the room. “Guess what?”

Everyone stared back at her and she stared at them with her hands on her hips before rolling her eyes. “There’s going to be a big party tonight at Michael Lewis’s lake house and we’re going.” Everyone seemed to groan reluctantly in unison, but before anyone had a chance to say anything Molly kept talking. “We’re going! It’s been a very very long year. But we never got to do anything fun together in high school, because when we tried to make up, we found out that our parents were murderers. But not tonight. Tonight, we’re all gonna get dressed up and look good and go and dance and party with people we’ve gone to school with forever. Besides, we did keep the world from ending, so I think we deserve a party.”

“Fine,” Gert groaned. “But only for you Mol.”

Chase, who was watching Gert, nodded. “It’ll be cool to see people again, so I’m in.”

Alex shrugged. “I’ve never been to one of these parties. Guess now is as good a time as any.”

Nico nodded. “Fine. Strength in numbers.”

Karolina wrapped her arm around Nico. “So, we’ll all meet here in a couple of hours and I’ll drive?” Everyone nodded and again headed off their separate ways to relax for a bit before they’d need to get dressed to go.

Karolina drove the entire gang to the party, and everyone split off to go their separate ways. Molly went to see the girls who had invited her, Alex headed inside to look around, and Chase led Gert to reintroduce her to some of his old friends leaving Nico and Karolina standing next to the car as people rushed around them.

“Did you want to go inside?” Nico asked, just loud enough to be heard.

Karolina shook her head. “Want to go down by the lake?” Nico nodded and Karolina took her hand and led her towards the water and away from the loud house.

The girls walked hand in hand past the swarms of drunk teenagers playing in and around the water. “It’s weird,” Karolina said watching them. “Last year I was desperate to go to one of these and have fun, and now…”

Nico shrugged. “Before, I felt like a lot of this stuff was just stupid and everyone here didn’t know it. Now I think maybe some of us just outgrow it faster than others.”

The girls walked together till they’d reached a little dock just away from the crowds. They could still hear the people and music in the background, but it was just a touch quieter. They walked down to the end and sat next to each other, dangling their feet off the edge over the water.

“Do you think,” Karolina said, “things will feel normal again?”

“No,” Nico said. Karolina turned sharply to look at her. “But I think we’ll find a way for this to be okay.” Find the little things that we can enjoy.”

Karolina smiled and pulled Nico in for a kiss. “I’d like that. Do you wanna go for a swim?”

Nico nodded. Both girls pulled off their shoes and socks and pulled off their jeans. Nico glanced back at Karolina before pulling her shirt off too. Karolina watched as Nico dove headfirst off the dock into the lake.

She knew something was wrong as soon as she hit the water. The dive had been graceful until suddenly Nico’s body was moving all wrong. Her body came to the surface face down and she didn’t move to roll over. Karolina quickly followed her into the water, sliding in instead of jumping. As she got close to Nico, she realized there was something hard in the water, a log or rock, she couldn’t tell in the dark and it had been completely invisible from where they were. She rolled Nico over and the girl took a gasp of air.

“Karolina,” Nico gasped. “I can’t move.”

Karolina called for help and some other kids came who dialed 911. Karolina just held on to Nico with one hand and the dock with the other. The rest of the runaways had come over as the party quickly dissipated and the girls didn’t show up. It seemed like an eternity to Karolina as they waited for the paramedics to come. Karolina jumped out of the water as they put Nico onto a backboard and locked her neck into a brace. She quickly followed them to the ambulance where a paramedic asked her to go sit in the front seat.

In the back, she could hear the paramedics asking Nico questions and examining her the whole way to the hospital. Once they’d pulled up, everyone rushed into action getting Nico inside to see the doctors. Karolina tried to follow them inside and a doctor directed her back towards the waiting area without even looking at her.

It was only when she got there that Karolina realized what a state she was in. She was practically naked and dripping wet. She looked down at her bare feet on the tile floor and felt torn between crying and laughing at the absolute ridiculousness of it. She forced herself to walk over to the check-in and explain how she’d gotten there and before she’d had much chance to try the nurse had already gotten up.

She’d quickly disappeared and returned to offer her a hospital gown, blankets, and socks which she quickly put on and wrapped around her hair and her shoulders. “It’s not much, but it’ll keep you warm while you’re waiting to hear something. Is there anyone we should call for you?”

Karolina’s breath caught in her throat because she wasn’t sure how to answer. Before she’d had too much time to have a breakdown about it, she heard her name being called and turned back to see the other kids had gotten to the hospital.

Chase got to her first and hugged her tightly. When they’d pulled apart Gert and Molly led her away to a bathroom to dry off and get dressed. When they got back Alex offered her his jacket which she gladly took.

“I called Tina,” Alex said softly. Everyone turned to look at him and he was staring at the ground. “I don’t trust her any more than you do, but between who she is and being Nico’s mom, she’ll have more weight here than we do.”

Karolina nodded. “No, you’re right. After everything… maybe we can’t trust her, but she’d do anything for Nico.”

The kids sat silently on a bench waiting for news and they were still sitting there when Tina showed up. They told her they didn’t know anything, and she rushed off asking everyone she saw for help till a doctor came and took her away.

No one knew exactly how long it had been when Tina came back and woke them up. They could see that she’d been crying, although she wasn’t at that moment. They all looked up at her expectantly.

“She’s alive,” Tina said quickly before taking a deep breath. “But she has a spinal cord injury.”

“How bad?” Alex asked.

“C5,” Tina said. “She’s in surgery now. She may need more surgeries later. They’re not sure.”

“What does that mean?” Molly asked.

Chase reached out and took Molly’s hand while Tina said, “It’s her neck. They don’t know how much if any, movement or sensation she’ll regain below that.”

“What can we do?” Karolina asked.

Tina turned to her and frowned slightly. “We wait.”

To Karolina, it felt like hours passed while everyone sat in the hospital waiting room. She and the runaways slept on and off leaning on each other while Tina sat a single seat away from them completely upright. Karolina moved next to her at some point and grabbed her hand. Tina glanced down at their hands for a moment before going back to staring blankly ahead, which Karolina decided to count as a win.

Finally, a doctor in scrubs came into the room and called Nico’s name. Everyone jumped to their feet and walked up to him. The doctor glanced at Tina who just nodded slightly. “She’s out of surgery and she’s stable, but it seems like the damage is fairly extensive. There are things we can try, spinal injuries are hard to predict, but I would prepare for Nico to be paralyzed from the neck down.”

“Can we see her?” Molly asked before anyone could speak.

The doctor shook his head. “She’s in recovery for tonight. I can take two of you to her room.”

The other kids all reached out and hugged Karolina knowing she would be the one to stay and then the doctor led her and Tina back through the hospital to Nico’s room. Karolina took a hard breath in. Nico looked different, asleep and tiny surrounded by machines and tubes. She and Tina each took a seat next to the bed.

It was hours before Nico woke up, but when she did both her mom and Karolina rushed to the bed. Karolina took her hand without thinking.

“How are you?” Karolina asked.

Nico groaned softly. “Somehow still exhausted.”

Tina went into the hallway to call for a doctor and returned quickly. “Do you remember what happened?”

Nico nodded. “We were at the lake and I dove into the water and hit my head. I couldn’t move.” She quickly looked down at her body and took in a hard breath. “Why can’t I move?”

“You injured your spine,” Tina said.

Nico looked up at her mother’s face hoping she’d see answers but wasn’t surprised when she didn’t. She turned to Karolina who was trying to look just as blank but had a little scrunch between her eyebrows. “Is it going to get better?”

At that moment, the doctor came into the room and walked up to the other side of her bed. “I want to do a few tests and then we’ll have a better idea of what we’re dealing with here.”

Nico nodded again, “Okay. Let’s do that then.”

The doctor asked Karolina and Tina to step out of the room and began to have Nico complete a variety of tests. First, they did a number of tests on her arms and hands, then they repeated similar tests on her legs. They then ran additional tests on her breathing to make sure she’d be able to get enough oxygen. By the end of the tests, Nico was ready to sleep for a year and her mom and Karolina came back into the room.

“I want to be honest with you,” The doctor said, “but I also want you to understand where there is room for hope. Right now, Nico has no motor abilities below the injury, but some sensation in her arms and very mild sensation in her legs. The good news is that means there is a possibility that eventually you may regain movement, especially in your arms. However, it could take years and it could never happen. It depends a lot on your body. You also only seem to have very minimal effects on your diaphragm and breathing, which is excellent news.”

“What can I do?” Nico asked.

The doctor smiled. “Physical therapy is going to be necessary regardless. They’ll be able to help teach you how to use a specialized power chair that uses breath controls to get around. They’ll also help teach the people in your life how to help move you through exercises to help maintain muscle mass. They’ll also try to help you regain some movement. It’s going to be a lot of hard work, and you won’t necessarily see progress. Hopefully, in the next couple of years, we’ll have a better idea of what’s possible for you.”

Nico nodded. “Okay. When can I start?”

The doctor chuckled. “Soon. We’ll transfer you to your room first. You’ll need to be inpatient for a while to start to adjust. When you leave, who’ll be taking care of you?”

“Karolina,” Nico said, at the same time as both Karolina and her mother said “me.”

The doctor paused and looked between the three women during a brief moment of silence before the arguing started.

“Absolutely not,” Tina yelled, before continuing more quietly. “You’re coming back home. I will take care of you. I understand that-”

“No, I will not!” Nico yelled back. “I have a home that I like. After everything-”

“Guys,” Karolina muttered. She turned to the doctor and smiled uncomfortably. “Could you give us some time to talk?”

The doctor raised his eyebrows and looked between Nico and her mother who didn’t appear to have noticed what Karolina said at all and had simply continued arguing. He nodded. “That seems like it would be best.”

Nico was enraged in a way she hadn’t been since the last time her mother’s insistence that she knew best. She had, until now, mostly forgiven Tina for things and had hoped that perhaps eventually they’d be able to have a civil but distant relationship. But now after everything that had happened her mother still wanted to control her, to control everything. Deep inside her, Nico could feel something like the darkness before and she closed her eyes to try and breathe. Her mother must have sensed it somehow and stopped yelling for a moment.

“I’m not going home,” Nico said once she felt under control again.

“Nico,” Tina said.

“I’ll give up,” Nico snapped, cutting her off. “If you drag me back home, I’ll give up. You’ve already lost Amy and Dad because of your choices. If you try to force me to come home, you will lose me too.”

“Nico,” Karolina said.

Nico shook her head. “No. If you’re willing to help me, if everyone is willing to have me stay with you I am. We already decided on this. The accident changes nothing about what happened.”

“Fine,” Tina said. Both girls turned to her. “I have two conditions. One, I will go, and I will learn how to take care of you. If anyone changes their mind, I don’t want to have to come back here to figure things out. Two, you will keep me abreast of all changes.”

Karolina turned to Nico who nodded. “Fine.”

The doctor came back, and Nico informed him of their plans. He seemed satisfied and a nurse came to help transfer her into a more long-term room. The nurse let them all know that she would likely eventually be transferred to another facility for more extensive care and physical therapy, but with her surgeries and head injury, they’d be keeping her here for a week or two.

Karolina stepped out briefly to let the others know they’d be able to come by and visit now and left Tina and Nico alone.

“I think you’re making a mistake,” Tina said. Nico rolled her eyes, but her mother continued. “You and that girl have been together for no time at all and this is going to be hard. I will be in it one hundred percent forever; you are my daughter. You’re just children. This is a bad idea.”

“We were children,” Nico said. “But you took that away from us. I know Karolina. She’s strong. I’m strong. We will get through this the same way we got through that.”

Nico knew that she’d been at the facility for a few weeks now and that the time was coming for her to go home. She’d gotten as comfortable as possible with the sip and puff chair they’d outfitted her with. Both Karolina and Tina had gone through extensive training to make sure they could take care of all her medical needs. Part of her was desperate to leave. Being surrounded by strangers, everyone experiencing the hardest time of their life was draining. She missed living with her friends and was desperate to figure out what her life was going to look like now. On the other hand, she still couldn’t move below the shoulders. Sometimes she would swear she was moving again, but she wasn’t at all. The physical therapists seemed to bounce back and forth between encouraging her to keep trying, be patient, and keep up her exercises and reminding her that it was entirely possible that she would never see a change. But to Nico, leaving now felt like a bad sign.

Karolina showed up to pick Nico up with a new van. Nico raised her eyebrows and Karolina smiled. “Everyone pitched in and Chase and Molly got money from some kids from the party…” Nico raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “And then we asked our parents for the rest of the money. We weren’t sure how we’d get your chair into the other car.” Nico nodded and glared at the van, which Karolina seemed to understand. “None of us felt great about needing their help, but this wasn’t exactly a typical scenario. And we didn’t ask Tina. My mom gave us most of it. She said it was money from the church anyway, so I was part of earning it.”

Karolina helped lower a ramp and buckled Nico and the chair into the car. “Thanks for doing that. It probably wasn’t easy.”

Karolina shrugged. “No, but worth it for you.” She kissed Nico and climbed into the driver’s seat.

When they got to the house Karolina helped Nico get back out and Nico stared at the entrance in shock. “When did we get a ramp?”

At that moment, the other runaways piled out. Chase said. “I built it while you were gone. It should be sturdy, we tested it a lot.”

Nico smiled and let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “Thanks.”

“Hey, we have your back,” Chase said. “We have a couple of other things set up inside.”

Nico gestured towards the house with her chin. “Let’s go then.” She carefully made her way over to the ramp and it held as she headed inside with everyone else following her.

“So,” Gert said. “Your stuff is all in Alex’s old room. Molly and I moved everything.”

Nico headed towards the room and saw a computer with a device she hadn’t seen before. “That’s Chase and I’s work,” Alex said. “It’s all eye-controlled so you can still have access to a computer by yourself. And it has a voice-operated keyboard you can click into for anything long. If you have any problems with it just let me know and we’ll get it fixed.”

“And over here,” Molly said gesturing at the little walkie-talkie-like device on the bedside table. “We have this thing. It’s like a voice-activated walkie-talkie. We all have receivers, so if you need us you can activate it to talk to us.”

“Not hooked up to the internet,” Chase added. “So, there’s no weird tracking or anything like that. Plus Karolina’s in the room next door now.”

Karolina looked at Nico who looked a bit overwhelmed. “Hey guys, why don’t we give Nico a few minutes to look around, and then we can have dinner.”

Everyone piled out of the room leaving Nico alone and she tried to blink back the tears she could feel prickling in her eyes. She wondered if she would ever stop feeling torn about everything. Her friends had done a lot to make this as comfortable and convenient as possible. But she didn’t want any of this to be necessary in the first place. After a few minutes, she felt like she’d pulled herself together enough to go eat.

Nico headed to the dining room where everyone was sitting. Molly had hung a welcome home banner and the table was covered in food. Nico forced herself to smile, even though she desperately wanted to go hide. This was all just too much.

“Nico,” Molly said. “We wanted to make sure things were nice today to welcome you back.”

“Thanks,” Nico said. “It looks good.”

It only took a few minutes before Nico was frustrated with dinner. Karolina had gotten her a plate and was alternating between taking a bite of her own food and giving Nico a bite. She was doing her best, but Nico felt like it was such a spectacle, and they were both eating so much slower than everyone. They managed to get through eating and Nico said, “Thanks everyone for all this, but I’m actually pretty exhausted. I’m gonna head to bed.”

Karolina followed behind her quietly. Once they were in her room and Nico was in pajamas Karolina said, “I’m sorry if this was too much. We missed you being home, but I wasn’t thinking about it being a lot.”

Nico shook her head. “It’s fine. I get it.”

Karolina smiled slightly and lifted Nico into her bed. “Are you comfortable?” Nico nodded. “Okay right. Uh if you need anything you just have to say runaways.” Nico heard the walkie talkie crinkle to life. “And runaways again will stop it. If you just want me, Alex programmed it to do the same thing with my name.”

Nico nodded and glanced over at the device. “I should be good, but thanks. Good night.”

“Good night,” Karolina said and kissed Nico softly. She left and closed the door behind her.

The next couple of weeks Nico doubled down on physical therapy. She had Karolina help her run through stretches and exercises a few times a day. She continued to practice her breathing exercises to keep her lung function up. She got better with her wheelchair.

“Good news,” her physical therapist said after her session. “You’re still seeing improved muscle function around your breathing and your cardiac health looks good.”

“But I still can’t move my arms,” Nico said.

Her physical therapist put a hand on her shoulder. “Any muscle improvements are a good sign, Nico. As long as you’re seeing some improvements you can still hope for more. You have to be patient.”

Nico sighed as she headed down the ramp. “Right.” Patience had never been Nico’s strongest skill and this entire process was asking for a lot of it. It seemed incredibly unfair that everyone at the therapy center and the hospital kept lecturing her on patience while they didn’t have to deal with the day in and day out experience of being paralyzed. They were all able to live their lives and take care of themselves.

Karolina was always on time to pick Nico up, and she always met her with a smile and a kiss. She’d been the same way when Nico was still inpatient, and she was coming to visit. Every nurse knew who she was within a few days, because Karolina was just as sweet and charming as she’d always been. Nico was living in the hospital, but it was Karolina who knew everyone’s name and could remember important things they’d told her about their lives. Most of the time Nico was grateful for it. She’d watched other people sit outside waiting for someone to come and get them, sometimes they were there when she got to therapy and still there when it was time to leave. She knew she was lucky to always have Karolina there, even if she wished she didn’t need to.

They got home and Karolina told Nico she’d go get her lunch together. “Hey,” Nico said. “Could you help move me to the couch?”

Karolina said, “You sure?”

Nico nodded. “I just need to get out of this chair sometimes. I can’t tell if I’m getting more sensation back and it’s actually uncomfortable or if it’s in my head, but it’s driving me crazy.”

Karolina transferred Nico to the couch and headed away to go get her some food. At first, Nico was grateful to be sitting on the couch. Maybe it was just in her head, but she really appreciated sitting on the softer couch slightly reclined sometimes. But then she started to have an itch on her nose. She tried to call for Karolina or someone to come, but no one did. Nico then desperately tried to convince her arm to move to her face, but it was useless. She got increasingly frustrated and felt tears pricking at her eyes. By the time Karolina came back into the room, Nico was actively crying in frustration.

“Hey,” Karolina said, running over from the doorway. “What’s wrong? What do you need?”

“My stupid nose itches and I can’t do anything!” Nico yelled.

“It’s okay,” Karolina said. She reached over and scratched Nico’s nose. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay! I’m completely useless,” Nico said. “A few months ago, I was strong and powerful. We saved the world. Now I can’t itch my nose or go to the bathroom and I’m not getting better!”

Karolina shook her head. She said, “You just-”

“Have to be patient,” Nico said. “I don’t want to be patient!”

Karolina took a deep breath standing in front of Nico. She couldn’t change this. It was outside of her control and she didn’t know what to say. “What can I do?” She finally said softly.

Nico laughed harshly. “Nothing. There’s nothing for you to do.”

Karolina sighed. “We’ll try to talk to the physical therapist. Maybe they’ll have some advice,” She said.

Nico rolled her eyes but nodded. She knew Karolina was trying to help. That’s all she was trying to do for her lately. But Nico just couldn’t get the energy to be kind about it right now. She just wanted things to go back to normal. “I think I want to do lay down.”

“I’ve got lunch almost ready, let’s eat first at least,” Karolina said.

Nico shook her head. “I’m not hungry, just tired.”

Karolina reluctantly took Nico to her room and helped her into bed. Karolina went to say something to her, but instead, she stopped and headed out with a small smile and a reminder to call if she needed anything.

Nico realized quickly that she was too keyed up to actually get any sleep, which meant all she could do was stare at the ceiling and think since she’d had Karolina leave her in bed instead of in her chair. As she was thinking and dreaming about what things might look like if she got better Nico had an idea for something she needed to try.

Karolina ate her lunch quietly in the kitchen. It wasn’t the first time Nico had been really angry, in fact, Nico had been angrier and more directly angry at her than this. But somehow that made it worse. There was absolutely nothing Karolina could do to change this.

She finished eating and decided to pop her head in to check on Nico. When she did Nico turned to her and smiled. “Hey, I had an idea.”

Karolina smiled back. “What did you want to do?”

“I want to try and use the staff,” Nico said. Karolina went to interrupt but Nico continued. “I know it can’t fix me, my mom said as much. I just meant like seeing if I can still do things with it. Maybe then I’d have something else to work on.”

Karolina was worried about how Nico would feel if it didn’t go that way, but she also was too happy to see Nico excited about anything to argue with her. She said, “Lunch first?” She helped Nico into her chair and they headed to the kitchen. When Nico had finished eating, Karolina grabbed the staff and they headed outside.

The girls went to a bit of a peak and looked out over the city. “We might live ages away from anything,” Karolina said gently. “But we do have a pretty nice view.”

Nico smiled. “We do.” She tore her eyes away and looked up at Karolina. “Alright, so I was thinking that you could try putting the staff under my hand. It used DNA, so hypothetically that should still work.”

Karolina obliged and stood back slightly. She could see the concentration in Nico’s face as she tried to get the staff to do something, anything. Every second that passed she felt herself get more anxious that this wasn’t going to work. After a couple of minutes that felt like ages, she said, “Maybe if I wrapped your hand around it? I know you can’t do it, but I could position your hand for you.”

Nico nodded tersely and Karolina went over to help. Barely a minute had passed when Nico leaned her head back and screamed. “God, I don’t know what it even wants,” She said afterward, glaring down at the stick. “Let’s just get back inside.”

Karolina wondered if she’d made a mistake letting Nico try to use the staff quite a bit over the next few weeks, but she also felt like maybe this was just everything finally hitting her. In some ways, nothing changed. Nico still went to see the physical and occupational therapists, she let Karolina help her through the exercises they’d sent home with her. But at the same time, everything was different. Nico almost never said anything to anyone. She was eating less, and she’d lost a lot of her energy about doing things.

After her next follow-up appointment with the doctor, the woman pulled Karolina aside while she was paying and Nico was off to physical therapy.

“Karolina, nothing is necessarily wrong, and I know Nico said there were no changes, but I wanted to check in with you.”

Karolina shrugged. “I’m not sure what you’re asking.”

The doctor smiled politely. “Oftentimes patients with high-level spinal injuries go through some depression. Nico’s weight is down slightly more than I’d expect and a few of the therapists have noted that she doesn’t seem as focused. How would you say things are going at home?”

Karolina paused. “I don’t know. I don’t think I want to talk about Nico behind her back.”

The doctor nodded. “I understand. I’m going to give you a few people’s names. They all take Nico’s insurance and offer a sliding scale for payments if that were to change.”

“More doctors?” Karolina asked. “I thought this was it.”

“These are mental health therapists,” She explained. “When Nico was in the hospital she said she wasn’t interested, but things change.”

Karolina took the paper the doctor had extended to her. Once she and Nico had gotten buckled into the car she decided to broach the subject as gently as possible. “So how are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Nico said.

Karolina nodded and tried to focus on the road. “The doctor gave me a list of some people she thought you might want to talk to, therapists I guess.”

Nico laughed harshly. “No.”

“Maybe it would help,” Karolina said.

“When Amy died my parents stuck me in therapy,” Nico said. “I don’t need to waste my time telling someone who’s never dealt with my problems about them and being told that I need to look for silver linings and try meditation or whatever other shit they’re trying to peddle now. Amy dying was awful and no amount of exercise or meditation or changing how I thought about it was going to change that and it won’t change this either. End of conversation. I just want to go home and take a nap.”

It seemed like bringing up therapy had only made things worse for Nico. The next day when Karolina went in to get her ready to head to occupational therapy Nico told her she didn’t want to go. Karolina tried to convince her otherwise, but Nico dug her heels in, and Karolina finally agreed to call and cancel for the day. They spent the rest of the week repeating the process until Friday when the woman at the front desk kindly suggested to Karolina that maybe Nico could plan to take the next week off as well and then get back into things.

“Nico,” Karolina said, sticking her head in the room. “How do you feel about taking a week off?”

Nico nodded. “Yeah, that’s good.”

“Okay. We’ll get back the week after,” Karolina said.

Nico turned away. “Maybe. I don’t know, maybe I’m just done with it.”

“Nico,” Karolina started.

“Karolina it’s exhausting and I’m not getting better there! Maybe I don’t want to spend ten hours a week in the car and ten more hours a week with doctors to not see any progress. Forget the time, how much money are we spending on those appointments and the gas? It’s all just too much,” Nico said. “Please stop trying to push me. It’s my decision.”

Karolina nodded at Nico even though she knew Nico wasn’t looking at her. “Right,” she said softly. “Call if you need me.”

As soon as Karolina closed the door she started to cry softly and headed into her own room. In some ways Nico was right. It was her body and her choice if she wanted to keep going, but it wasn’t really about the doctors. It was about Nico pushing her away and not being willing to do anything with her that she didn’t have to.

Karolina decided she was going to give Nico her space. She still did everything she had to do to help Nico of course, but she made a conscious effort to ask more questions. Did Nico want her to make her food, did Nico want to do her stretches, did Nico want to sit in her chair so she could do things, did Nico want to do her exercises. She learned very quickly that Nico would usually eat something at least twice a day, even if it was less than Karolina thought she should, and she usually would do stretches but not the other exercises. Generally, though Nico just wanted to lay in bed. Karolina wasn’t sure exactly what she was doing during all that time, but she decided she was better off not asking.

Nico’s second week out of therapy was coming to a close. She wasn’t really any happier. She knew Karolina was upset she was spending so much time in bed, but she just didn’t want to do things. It all felt wrong, so why waste her time and energy. When Nico heard the door she turned expecting Karolina and was surprised to see Gert instead. Gert marched into the room without asking and set down the little bag she was carrying. She uncovered Nico’s feet and Nico realized she’d brought nail polish in and was setting in to paint her toenails.

Gert had just started to paint her nails when she started to speak. “You know it turns out my mom gave me anxiety? And not just in like a genetics nature versus nurture way. When I was a kid, I saw something I wasn’t supposed to, and she used the experimental pride drug on me. We don’t know for sure, but the timing is pretty exact.”

Nico felt like she’d been hit with a ton of bricks. She didn’t know when Gert had found this out, but she didn’t sound like it was especially new for her. She had no idea what to say.

“I know it’s different,” Gert said. “But it was an accident and then I was broken. For a while when the anxiety first hit me, I wouldn’t leave my bed. My parents took me to therapy at first, often kicking and screaming. But they stopped forcing me and I stopped going anywhere. I was too scared and too depressed. It’s funny, I don’t remember my mom drugging me, but I think I knew in my body somehow. I didn’t trust anyone but Molly, and I just felt like everything was ruined forever.

But then one day Molly came in my room and told me we were going outside to play. She refused to take no for an answer. She told me that I could be miserable alone in my room or I could be miserable outside with her. If I was going to be miserable regardless I might as well do it.”

“It’s not the same,” Nico said.

Gert nodded. “I know it’s not. But you can be miserable in your bed alone, or you can be miserable somewhere else. And do you know what I realized when Molly took me outside? That sure I felt equally miserable, but it had made Molly happy. I might not have been able to do anything else ever again, but I could make Molly happy.”

Nico stared at her freshly painted toenails for a few minutes before looking up to where Gert was clearly waiting for her to make eye contact. “Thanks.”

Gert waved her hand as though to push away Nico’s thanks. “Maybe you will never be able to do anything else ever again, but I’m pretty sure that you can still make Karolina happy.”

“How?” Nico said. “All I do is put more work on her.”

Gert rolled her eyes. “She chose to do everything she’s doing. We all offered to help and she said no because she loves you and she thought that would be easiest for you. You’re being an idiot. But today I’m going to paint your nails, you’re going to tell Molly how to do your makeup because frankly none of us have any idea what you used to do, and the two of us are going to get you all dressed up. Then you and Karolina are going out on a date. We’ve planned the entire experience for you both, so there is literally no work involved.”

“I don’t know,” Nico said.

Gert said, “That’s fine, I’m not asking you to know anything. I’m telling you to go.”

It was strange for Nico to tell Molly how to do her makeup for her, but when she looked in the mirror afterward, she felt a warm hopeful feeling for the first time in forever. She could see herself. She helped Gert to finalize her outfit choice and then the girls quickly helped her get dressed and settled into her chair.

She followed the girls out of her room and saw Karolina sitting on the edge of the couch talking to Chase. She looked beautiful and for a second Nico felt guilty that this was the first time she’d seen Karolina dress up or even have her hair done since the accident. As soon as Karolina turned to her that was gone, because she saw Karolina’s face light up and for a second she could have sworn she saw the rainbow glow.

“Molly did a great job, you look beautiful,” Karolina said coming over.

Nico blushed slightly and looked down. “You look great. So what’s the plan exactly?”

Karolina turned back to Gert and Nico realized she didn’t know either. Gert smiled and handed Karolina some papers. “You’ve got movie tickets there. I gave you the name of a bunch of places you could go to for dinner that I made sure would work. Go enjoy your date.”

The girls got settled in the car and an awkward silence fell over them. Nico cleared her throat. “So uh, what all have you been doing lately, other than like you know?”

Karolina glanced back and smiled. “For one I’ve been doing a lot of work with my mom on getting all of our legal stuff in order. Most of us had trust funds before everything went down, everyone had college funds. We have rights to that stuff. After my mom gave us the money for the van she told me she wanted to help us get what we deserved.”

“How’s that been going?” Nico asked. “I hadn’t even thought about it.”

“Better than you’d expect,” Karolina said. “Honestly no one’s really put up a huge fight about it, you know. I think our parents all feel at least a little guilty. Molly’s back in school. The rest of us all decided to get our GEDs. Gert and Alex already did, but Chase and I decided to spend more time studying. You could get yours too if you wanted. Gert’s thinking of applying for college again, but she wants to stay local or online now. I guess we’ve all kind of realized we want to stay in one place.”

“So everyone’s been busy,” Nico said.

Karolina said, “You’ve been just as busy as we were. I’ve also been volunteering at a few places in the city. A soup kitchen, a community garden, and passing out gifts at the children’s hospital. I never had much need to figure out what I wanted to do, it was just understood that I’d take over the church. And I guess I still could, but it would feel weird now. So many people there still think I’m an angel, and there’s just a lot tied up in it. It’s nice to be helpful in ways that aren’t tied to our families and Pride.”

“I’m glad,” Nico said. “You should get to do things you like.”

“I’m always doing things I like with you,” Karolina said as she parked them outside the theater.

Nico was frankly glad that the first part of their date was a movie where they wouldn’t have to talk. She felt strangely out of practice at normal conversation, although maybe it wasn’t that surprising. She hadn’t really stopped living in panic mode in years.

The movie was ideal for a date. Not good enough that you couldn’t tear your eyes away, but good enough that you were having fun. Karolina felt herself relax. She made sure to silently continue offering Nico pieces of popcorn and candy and was grateful that she was taking them. Halfway through the movie she reached over and took Nico’s hand, and was pleasantly surprised when Nico glanced down at their hands after a while and smiled.

“That was good,” Nico said after the movie ended.

Karolina nodded. “This was fun.”

Nico agreed. “Maybe we should do this more, or even just watch a movie at home.”

“I’d love that,” Karolina said. “I missed you.”

Nico smiled at her. “I think I missed you too.”

The girls headed outside and sat in the car debating the different restaurants on Gert’s list. They finally picked one and headed over. The food was good, and Nico tried to focus on having fun and not on the fact that Karolina had to feed her or how long it took them to eat. She realized slowly as they ate that no one really seemed to be paying any attention, and it was easier after that to focus on their conversation.

The girls' drive home was quiet again, but it felt comfortable this time. Easier. They pulled up to the house and Karolina grabbed a bag from the car and gestured for Nico to follow her over to the peak they’d gone to before. Karolina spread a blanket over the ground and laid them both down.

“I love that you can see the stars here,” Karolina said softly. “It’s just so pretty.”

Nico smiled and looked at Karolina. “Today was good, right?”

Karolina nodded. “Yeah. Maybe we could try to do this more, try more normal things that aren’t just doctors’ appointments.”

“Maybe,” Nico agreed. “I’m sorry I’ve been so snappy.”

Karoline looked over at her sharply. “You don’t have to apologize. You’ve been doing your best.”

“Yeah,” Nico said. “But I didn’t have to be mean to you while you were being nice to me. I just wish things were back to normal.”

“I know,” Karolina said. “And we’re good.”

“I think I should go back to physical therapy.”

“Really?” Karolina said, trying not to sound too excited.

Nico said, “Yeah. I could feel you touch my hand earlier. It wasn’t like before, and I still couldn’t move, but there was something. Maybe that’s all it’ll be, but if I don’t try then nothing will change.”

“Maybe it’ll be easier now,” Karolina said. “Not doing it really, but if we’re doing more things together it’ll feel easier.”

“Maybe,” Nico said.

After a while, Karolina helped Nico up and the girls headed inside. They were surprised to see that no one was waiting for them, but they did find a note on Nico’s door. “There’s a new voice command apparently,” Nico said. They walked in the room and Nico very certainly said, “Dim lights.”

Instead of just dimming the lights, both girls were surprised when colored lights started to move around the room and a star pattern was projected on the ceiling. Karolina grabbed the note on the bedside table. “So you can stop staring at the ceiling. Molly saw them online and got the others to set it up. And there’s more in the dining room.”

Nico shook her head. “We can check tomorrow. Let’s just lay down?”

The girls both settled in bed and watched the lights dance around the room and fell asleep thinking for the first time in a long time that things might work out.

The next morning the girls woke up slowly, Karolina wrapped around Nico. “Morning,” She said leaning over. She leaned forward and paused slightly letting Nico raise her head to kiss her. “Breakfast?”

Nico nodded and Karolina set to getting them both ready for breakfast. “Hey Karolina,” Nico said gently from behind her as she was finishing brushing her hair. “Do you think you could do my makeup? I’m sure Molly wouldn’t mind, but it was nice to have that done.”

Karolina smiled and nodded. “Of course!”

The girls headed towards the dining room afterward and saw that the others were waiting with a full breakfast spread. “Finally!” Molly yelled. “We’ve been up for hours! Did you see it last night?” Nico shook her head and wheeled up to the robot that was on the table and clearly for her.

“What the hell is it?” Nico asked.

Chase smiled. “It’s a robotic arm. It works on a sip and puff system, like the chair but it’s built on the other side so that you can use both.”

“It’s going to take some time to get the settings perfect,” Alex interrupted quickly. Everyone turned to him and he held up his arms. “Look I just didn’t want you to go to use it and accidentally punch yourself in the face.”

Nico started to laugh, and the others quickly joined her. “What can it do?”

The boys quickly launched into an explanation of how the arm could be used to eat and started to tinker with the settings and then Nico paused. “How sensitive do you think you could get this?”

“Ideally?” Alex asked. “As perfect as you can get the breath and mouth controls.”

“Do you think I could do makeup with it too?”

The boys both stared at their computers and the arm and then looked at each other before answering. “Probably when we get it right. Have you had a chance to play with your computer to make sure it’s working alright?”

Nico looked down embarrassed. “No, not really. I haven’t been doing much.”

Alex nodded. “Well give that a shot too when you get a chance. We’re all happy to hang out with you and try to help but people online who’ve got similar experiences might have some other advice or be cool to talk to. Plus they could probably tell you what kind of devices might be helpful.”

Nico turned to stare at him as if he’d just spoken Greek. There were lots of people with spinal cord injuries at the physical therapists, but most of them were older or men so she hadn’t felt connected to them. Online she might be able to find people she could relate to.

“That’s actually a pretty good idea. Can we take a break from this for me to go try it out?”

Both boys nodded and assured Nico that they needed to work with the contraption they were building for her.

“Oh wait! There are two more surprises,” Chase said. “One we extended the walkie-talkie system throughout the house so you can get our attention from anywhere.”

“Thanks,” Nico said. The boys followed her out and gestured up at the main stairs. Nico was floored and couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed it earlier. One side of the massive main staircase had been turned into a full ramp upstairs.

“I know we got you settled down here,” Gert said from the couch. “But it seemed shitty that you couldn’t get upstairs anyway.”

Nico could feel tears pricking at her eyes. “How the hell did you do this in a couple of hours?”

“We all pitched in and most of it we planned for a few weeks,” Chase said. “Hopefully we can keep finding ways to make things easier so you can do more stuff.”

“Thank you,” Nico said as she saw Molly head back down smiling. “I know I’ve been…”

“Understandably distressed,” Gert said. “We’re a family, right? So, it’s our job to figure out how to help you and to deal with whatever comes with your accident.”

“We promised to take care of you,” Molly added. “That means making sure you know we love you.”

Nico headed into her room feeling deeply touched and mildly embarrassed by the entire thing but quickly set to her goals. Alex was right. There had to be spaces online for people like her. That was where she’d found support in the Wiccan community after Amy passed and maybe it could be how she found support now.

Nico was always surprised how quickly big things could change. It turned out that the community for paralyzed people online was surprisingly easy to find, and she’d found a group of other girls who she’d fallen in with almost immediately. Everyone’s story was different. Lucy had been in a car accident; Sam had been an aspiring gymnast; Meg had had medical complications. But at the same time, their stories were all the same. In one second their whole lives had changed.

The girls had all agreed to meet up at a park since they were all local, and Nico could admit that she was nervous. On the one hand, they seemed to have things in common outside of their injuries and they all got along well online. On the other hand, they were still strangers and Nico hadn’t been good at making friends in a long time. Plus so much of the last year of Nico’s life was inexplicable to anyone outside of the runaways. But then again so much of the last few months was inexplicable to them.

Karolina helped Nico with unloading and she turned to see the girls a little way away sitting under a gazebo. Lucy and Sam were smiling and Meg was waving slightly. Nico glanced up at Karolina who smiled at her.

“Go,” Karolina said. “I’m going to walk around for a while and then if you’re good I might go get iced coffee.”

Nico felt a stunning amount of warmth for Karolina understanding what she’d need here and headed off to meet the other girls.

“God when will I get to be dropped off for things by a hot girl,” Sam said as soon as Nico was within earshot.

The other girls all burst out laughing. “Jesus Sam you have to let her get over here first,” Meg said, still chuckling. “She can’t move and laugh at the same time.”

Nico steadied herself enough to finish the journey but still laughed. “I’m definitely lucky to have Karolina. My mom is… complicated.”

The girls all nodded. “If it makes you feel better,” Sam said, “my mom hasn’t really spoken to me since the accident. And she doesn’t have the excuse of being a busy tech mogul. She’s just decided to focus on my siblings.”

“Flipside, my mom hasn’t left me alone since our accident,” Lucy said, rolling her eyes. “Which yes does make it harder to find a man, as though the paralysis didn’t make it complicated enough.”

“It certainly isn’t for lack of trying,” Meg teased. “I’ve set you up with every single one of my male friends. And as I’ve said Sam, I just don’t know lesbians.”

“Maybe Nico can set us up,” Sam said. “We haven’t run through your entire social circle yet.”

Nico laughed and felt herself settle into the conversation with the other girls.

Karolina walked slowly around the park and realized she was feeling deeply hopeful and nervous for Nico. She didn’t want to hover, but she also knew Nico didn’t always get along with new people right away. So, she walked around the park seeing people going about their lives, but never really got too far away.

“Do you know Nico?” a woman asked, walking up next to Karolina. Karolina turned to her, suddenly anxious and the woman shook her head. “I’m Lucy’s mom, Sandy. Sorry if I made you nervous.”

“Oh no, it’s fine,” Karolina said. “Yeah, I’m Nico’s girlfriend.”

Sandy smiled. “It’s nice of you to drive her out.”

“I always drive Nico. We live together,” Karolina explained.

“Oh,” Sandy said. “Sorry I just assumed that… well I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Karolina said. “Do you always just wait nearby while Lucy’s meeting up with people?”

Sandy blushed slightly. “I do, but I know most people don’t. I just worry about Lucy. Even if she wishes I’d worry less.”

Karolina nodded. “I worry too. I just don’t want to be too much.”

“Have you thought about carer support groups?”

“What’s that.”

Sandy smiled. “They’re groups for people who are caring for someone else. They exist for lots of illnesses, but there are a few not too far and online for people caring for someone with a spinal cord injury. They do lean parent heavy, but there are definitely friends and partners in them too. I can send you the information, here.”

Karolina got the info and then walked slightly closer to the girls. Nico smiled and nodded at her so she decided it was fair for her to go to a little café around the corner. She bought herself a coffee and cookie and headed back to go sit in the park. She settled down on a bench, ate her cookie, and pulled a book out of her purse to read.

“Must be a good book.”

Karolina looked up to see Nico smiling at her. “Hey, sorry you ready to go?” Karolina asked, jumping up.

Nico nodded. “Yeah, Lucy and Sam’s moms both had to get home.”

“Did you have fun?”

“It wasn’t a playdate Karolina,” Nico said. “But yeah.”

“Good,” Karolina said. The girls headed back to the van, loaded up, and headed off towards home.

Nico looked over at Karolina. “Hey, when we get back, I want to try something with the staff.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Karolina asked. Her voice was steady, but she gripped the steering wheel tighter.

Nico didn’t answer right away. The question was enough that she could tell Karolina wasn’t excited about the idea of her trying to use the staff again, and in some ways, she understood where she was coming from. But at the same time, she was sure. “I can handle this.”

Karolina nodded and the rest of the drive back was done in silence. When they got back Karolina went inside to grab the staff. She took a moment inside the house to steady herself before she headed back outside. They would get through this no matter what happened. They could handle it now. Things were different. Nico believed it.

She smiled at Nico as she met her on the overlook. “How do you want to do this?”

“Could you just put it in my lap?” Nico said.

Karolina obliged. “Don’t you need to be touching it?”

Nico tilted her head. “I’m not actually sure. I did use it without really holding it a couple of times before, it just wasn’t intentional then. I’d forgotten about it since I figured it was just Morgan or something wrong. But now I’m wondering if that wasn’t it. Maybe it’s just about me.”

Nico tried to focus on the staff but found that without even being able to feel the weight of it that she couldn’t do it. “Maybe not. Could you put it under my hand?”

Karolina put the staff under Nico’s hand and stepped back again. She felt like she was holding her breath as she waited to see what would happen.

Nico focused on the staff under her hand and found that while the tactile sensation wasn’t strong, she could feel the energy and magic this time. She wasn’t quite sure if it was about timing and her recovery or if it was just about her headspace but there it was, quiet but certain, under her palm. Nico closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She opened them when she heard Karolina gasp quietly and saw that it was snowing slightly, just around them. Nico smiled widely at Karolina who was holding her hands out to catch the snowflakes and beaming with tears in her eyes. She was beautiful.

It was enough to take Nico’s focus off of the staff and the snow quickly stopped falling and melted into the ground. “You did it!” Karolina yelled and ran over to hug and kiss her hard. “You did it.”

Nico blushed and looked down at her lap. “It’s definitely not perfect.”

“Depends how you define perfect,” Karolina said, straddling Nico in the chair. “I happen to think it was perfect. You’re perfect.” Nico shook her head slightly and Karolina found her mouth to kiss her again. “You’re perfect for me. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Nico said.

Karolina pulled her face back but made no effort to move from Nico’s lap. “I think we should celebrate.”

“It was just a couple of snowflakes. They already melted,” Nico said.

Karolina shook her head. “It was progress.”

The girls made out on the overlook for a little while before heading inside. Nico found herself absolutely exhausted and Karolina helped her into bed for a nap.

When Karolina woke Nico up it was much later in the evening. “Dinner’s ready.” They headed out into the dining room where Nico burst out laughing. There was a giant banner hanging over the table that read _Congratulations on the magic powers!_ Her friends were all sitting around the table with party hats and a cake that just said congratulations on the table.

“You didn’t have to do all this,” Nico said.

Gert came over and put a hat on her head. “Of course we did. Now, what are your feelings about eating the cake before dinner?”

Nico laughed and as everyone dug into the cake and she looked around the room at her friends she realized that this was perfect. They’d never really gotten much time to celebrate any of the other big wins they’d had this year, and they all deserved it. And now she was counting on having a lot more good days, celebrations, and milestones with these people and she was planning to celebrate every single one of them.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written as part of the Fandom Trumps Hate 2020 auction. It is much later than I anticipated it being, but that's kind of the story of 2020 at this point.  
> While I do have experience adjusting to chronic health problems and mobility issues, I don't have any experience with spinal cord injuries. So a lot of the medicine and technology parts are heavily based on googling and reading medical pages and other first-hand accounts.


End file.
